We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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