And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have already put on my inside pants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
