it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
