So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
