So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm passing your future prison.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
