We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
