There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize