Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
