woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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