we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
