Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
