Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
worst night to have a conscience
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
