i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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