Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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