i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Come see our sink grown plant.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
