I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
