pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
