Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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