I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
