i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize