you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
