If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
