I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
