I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize