Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
