in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
