Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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