he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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