i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
