So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
