I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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