I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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