Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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