sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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