I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
