I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
