Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize