I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
