saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
