HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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