I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
