Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just shotgunned beers for America
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
