i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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