I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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