THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
