Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
