I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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