You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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