Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
