these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
