oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
