Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
