I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
