So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
