Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
