I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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