chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
