I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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