is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
