She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
